He Loves You.. Not..

Thursday, March 22, 2007

He Loves You.. Not..

A good friend recently got dumped, and the reason cited was because she was unreasonable, stubbornly stubborn and always refuse to give in. This got me very bothered, not only because the girl's my friend.. but there's this feeling, a something restless that kept bugging me.. and I didn't know what was it, until I woked up this morning, and I realised... I've been in her shoes!

My last relationship before hubby have been exactly like that.. and when it ended, I was left bewildered, wondering where did I go wrong.. for when he ended the relationship, his reason was ME! I'm stubborn, I'm selfish, I won't give in, I'm... well he obviously just can't stand me.. The thing is, I've been like that since the day he knew me... I did not think that I hid that from him.. When in the beginning I'm independent, it turned to stubborn later. I was carefree and embrace life, that turned into me being very selfish and want things only my way.. How did all the good and positive things about me turned into negatives in just a matter of months?

It wasn't until I knew Hubby and being together with him that I realised that I was not wrong, it was probably the wrong person in the wrong time in the wrong place? I'm still the same person I was years ago, I'm still as stubborn as I was before, as hot headed, as unreasonable (yepz, I do admit it) at times and I'm happily with Hubby for 4 years. Our temperaments and characters are as different as night and day, and we've learned over the years to admit and accept each other's shortcomings. With my temper, there's no denying that we probably fought and argued more than most couples do, but at the same time, I felt, the arguments does bring the relationship to a higher level, everytime we had an argument, after sorting things out, we learned something new in each other. Hubby had never sought to change me, to bend me into his ideal 'Stepford Wife', but instead embrace who I am, and from there, together, we learned to meet each other halfway... ok, maybe he comes 3 quarter way.. lol.. That's what relationships are all about..

I'm not condoning that being a girl gives you the right to be stubborn or temperamental. Even I, am learning to change my bad habits and temper.. but one could not turn into a mild tempered person overnight! And honestly, doesn't most guys have tempers themselves? Or as stubborn?
I think both parties should seriously reflect on their own characters before judging the other. Leaving a person because they couldn't stand the other's character is not a reason.. not to me anyway..

What I'm trying to say is, my dear dear friend, if the guy could give this kind of reason for the breakup, I really don't think he loved you as much anyway.. Hubby would have probably left me a thousand times given this reason.. You'll meet the right one.. the one that can really accept you for who you are.. it's just the matter of time... In the mean time, pick yourself up.. don't follow my footsteps and drown misery.. till now I still regret the months I've lost and the weight I've gained dwelling in my own misery back then..